Tackle The Tough Stuff | Tim Lafai

3 Aug 2023

Tackle The Tough Stuff | Tim Lafai

Tim Lafai, a superstar of the Betfred Super League, has faced significant struggles with mental health throughout his career. His journey demonstrates the challenges that professional athletes often encounter, as well as highlighting the importance of seeking help as oppose to bottling up emotion.

The Samoan international endured an incredibly successful career in the NRL, making 150 appearances over a ten-year career. However, when the pandemic struck, the lockdown period proved to be an immense struggle for Lafai.

Speaking on the Out Of Your League podcast last month, Lafai explained: "I think for me, because I knew that was the last year of my contract and going into lockdown, not being able to play, we need to be on the field to show clubs what we have as that's where we earn our contracts. That's where the pressure began to creep in and you start to worry about providing for your family. That's where it started to mess with my head and lead to a downward spiral.

"With me, I bottle things up. I've been taught in my culture and as a kid to not open up, so a lot of things I hold in until it's like a steaming pot."

 

 

The issues that Lafai was struggling with were soon to escalate when he unfortunately suffered a mental breakdown. The reality that the club were not going to re-sign him proved to be the main catalyst for the unfortunate turn in Lafai's life.

"It was stressful," Lafai admitted. 

"I got the hint that the club weren't going to re-sign me and when my mental breakdown happened, I took it out on my wife and my house.

"It could've been solved by me just opening up and speaking to my wife but because I couldn't, she said something, and I snapped. Before you know it, furniture was flying around. I then grabbed some bottles and went downstairs and just started drinking and smashing the walls downstairs.

"It'd been building up and unfortunately, it was my wife and kids who had to see me like that. I'll always beat myself up about this and try to learn from it moving forward as a dad, as it's not the example I want to set."

Experiencing that unfortunate breakdown was the first step for Lafai in coming to terms with his struggles and seeking the help that he needed.

"I went to a private mental hospital facility which was catered for professional athletes, army reserve and fire engineers. My experience there was awesome. Speaking to these people who had suffered with things like PTSD, it was a real eye opener for me and even now, I still use the tools that they gave me in there which really helps."

 

 

Lafai continued to prioritise his mental health, gradually regaining his confidence and improving his mental well-being.

"I feel in a really good place now. My mindset is positive and, in my head, now, I feel there's more to life than rugby."

When Lafai's NRL contract eventually came to an end, he found himself working a construction site. The Samoan was in no position to be unemployed, conscious of the fact he would need to provide an income for his wife and children.

Despite stepping away from rugby league, Lafai was keen to get back into the game and luckily for him, Salford Red Devils came knocking. He became a standout for The Red Devils in 2022, resulting in him being named in last year's Betfred Super League Dream Team.

"The rugby over here - I love it. You don't feel like robots and you get to enjoy it and throw the ball around. It's entertaining rugby."

 

 

Lafai's journey serves as a reminder that mental health struggles can affect anyone, regardless of their status or accomplishments. He now serves as inspiration to many across the sport, whilst also being an advocate for promoting positive mental wellbeing in sport.

Furthermore, Lafai has suggested that to see improvement across all sports, sporting governing bodies and the necessary sporting authorities must play their part as well.

"It's quite common in professional athletes, we bottle things up and I think it's due to the stigma around us that we have to be macho and have to put on this front because people are looking at us. It's something I'd love to the Super League and the NRL to work on with each club because it's so important."